Mom and I drove the loop the other night. (For those who don't know, "the loop" is a road that goes back into some of the farms in Marion, and then circles around to get back into town.) It's been a habit of ours to go by Sonic and then drive the loop. We haven't done that in almost a year, it seems, but the weather was great and off we went. A year or two ago, we discovered that there are a few spots where you can stop the car, turn off the lights, and watch thousands of fireflies against a dark backdrop of trees. May is really the perfect month, because of the temperature. June is too late. Evidently, April is too early. It is an awesome sight to see all those little lights in the middle of the pitch black.
Speaking of darkness...I've been challenged lately with many anxious thoughts. I wish I could say that my first response was true trust, but it hasn't been. But I was reminded of that verse a few days ago, "When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Thy consolations delight my soul." (Ps 94:19) Then I thought about the Israelites, and how it was important for them to teach their children and their children's children, and to rehearse on a monthly, if not weekly, basis, as well as with the yearly celebration of feasts, all that God had done for them. Why was this important? Because when things get dark, it is all too easy for us to forget what God has done. I mean, the Israelites walked through the Jordan river ON DRY GROUND, and later they complained about being led out of Egypt in order to die in the desert. I mean... HELLO !!!!!
I heard Chuck Swindoll, a few weeks ago, talking about sitting down with the family after dinner one night and telling the story (chronologically) about how God led them from the beginning of their lives and up until the present time. He said that after the recount of each child's birth, they stopped, prayed, and thanked God for His blessings and leading. So I listed my anxious thoughts, and then I listed His consolations. As I began to list God's consolations and all the ways in which He has led me, I was overwhelmed again, but this time with gratitude and lowliness. I mean, who am I that God would bless me? And why do I act like I think that God won't continue to care for me and my family?
Oh God, let me never forget all Your lovingkindness towards me. You have blessed me FAR above what I could ever deserve and beyond what I could hope for. Thank You that Your consolations are like those fireflies in the middle of the dark. Little glimmers of light and hope in the midst of the pitch black that encourage me to continue to put my trust and hope in You for everything. EVERY thing.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Monday, January 15, 2007
See Spot Change...
It is at these moments that I truly love being a veterinarian. This cute little puppy was one of my most recent patients. Actually, the dad of the pup’s owner brought this little one in, as well as it’s brand-new twin. He told the receptionists that his wife had washed the new one over and over trying to fade it, but that his wife and son, Spot’s owner, would be by a little later to pick up the pooch from being seen by the vet.
When they told me that Spot’s owner, a little boy named Connor had arrived, I had to collect myself a little. I LOVE doing this sort of thing! I went out into the waiting room and called out, “Spot?” Connor’s mom told him to go get his puppy. I told him that I hoped it was ok that we had bathed him, because he had gotten a little dirty when we were fixing him. He looked at Spot, looked at his mom, looked at me, and then hugged his pet. He asked me, “You stitched his heart?” I nodded. His little fingers gently touched the eyes, nose, ears, and heart. His mom asked him how Spot smelled. A little sniff of the nose and head… “Clean.” Some other words were exchanged, and I told Connor’s mom and grandmother “thank you.” We were all fighting back tears by the end, and the whole thing only took 20-30 seconds. You see, Connor is probably about 8 or 9 years old, but he is a special-needs child.
Seeing Spot’s transformation reminded me of a few verses in Scripture:
“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” Ps 51:10
“Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; and see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way.” Ps 139:23-24
“For Thou dost not delight in sacrifice, otherwise I would give it; Thou art not pleased with burnt offering. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, Thou wilt not despise.” Ps 51:16-17
“Therefore if any man is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.” 2 Cor 5:17
As you can see from the picture, Spot was a well-loved “pet,” whose heart was literally falling apart. But Spot did not return his owner broken. He was entrusted to the doctor, and was returned as good as new. It is the same with our Physician.
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
A change of plans...
Well...this was the first year having Christmas with my brother and his wife as part of the family. I mean, we've always had Will as a part of the family, (duh), but this year it was a different Will. I was shocked to meet this new person he has become. He's only been married a couple of months, but as I sat with he and his wife at the table after brunch, I thought to myself..."Wow! He's an adult." It brings a smile to my face even now to think about it. Not that I'm SUCH an adult, and he was always SUCH a child, but I think I was finally able to see HIM. My brother has always surprised me upon occasion with some tidbit of wisdom. I don't know why I don't expect wisdom to come from my little brother...well...I guess I know why...when you are the big sister, you always know more than your brother, more about any thing regarding any subject. That's just the way it is. But not really so much anymore.
I asked Will before the wedding how he and Lisa got together. You see, they 'dated' for 5 years before he proposed. And since I knew my brother was not the kind of guy to ask girls out (ie. he is not one of those guys that asks many girls out just to go on dates), I wanted to know how their relationship even started. He said that they had been dating about 2 months when he found out about it. (They did alot of group activities and hung out together quite a bit.) He said that when he found out she was calling him her 'boyfriend', he panicked. This was not what he had planned. He was supposed to be single. He had never been attached to anyone, nor had he planned to. So he called it off. (I asked how, to which he replied, "I didn't call her for a week.") Then I asked if she called him, or if he took himself back to her. He admitted that he went back of his own accord. He said that Mom asked him, "Well, if she's not your 'girlfriend', what is she?" He thought a minute, and answered, "She's my Lisa. Like, my car, my room, my keys, my Lisa." She is the other part of him, and it surprised him to find her.
Anyway...I just thought that was really sweet. It's kinda like the story about my dad and the song "Brown-eyed Girl." Mom says that every time that song came on, he would start singing, and then turn to her in the middle and exclaim, "You're eyes aren't brown! I thought I liked brown-eyed girls." To his surprise, he didn't. He liked my Mom.
Just wanted to share.
I asked Will before the wedding how he and Lisa got together. You see, they 'dated' for 5 years before he proposed. And since I knew my brother was not the kind of guy to ask girls out (ie. he is not one of those guys that asks many girls out just to go on dates), I wanted to know how their relationship even started. He said that they had been dating about 2 months when he found out about it. (They did alot of group activities and hung out together quite a bit.) He said that when he found out she was calling him her 'boyfriend', he panicked. This was not what he had planned. He was supposed to be single. He had never been attached to anyone, nor had he planned to. So he called it off. (I asked how, to which he replied, "I didn't call her for a week.") Then I asked if she called him, or if he took himself back to her. He admitted that he went back of his own accord. He said that Mom asked him, "Well, if she's not your 'girlfriend', what is she?" He thought a minute, and answered, "She's my Lisa. Like, my car, my room, my keys, my Lisa." She is the other part of him, and it surprised him to find her.
Anyway...I just thought that was really sweet. It's kinda like the story about my dad and the song "Brown-eyed Girl." Mom says that every time that song came on, he would start singing, and then turn to her in the middle and exclaim, "You're eyes aren't brown! I thought I liked brown-eyed girls." To his surprise, he didn't. He liked my Mom.
Just wanted to share.
Monday, December 18, 2006
1 Cor 9:24-27
"Do you not know that all those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize?
Run in such a way that you may win.
And everyone who competes in the games exercises self-control in all things. They then do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. Therefore, I run in such a way as not without aim; I box in such a way as not beating the air;
but I buffet my body and make it my slave, lest possibly, after I have preached to others, I myself should be disqualified."
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Battling the Unbelief of Impatience
Got this in a letter from Desiring God ministries. Piper has been doing a series on battling unbelief. This particular form of unbelief is one that I've just recently been dealing with in a new way. "Trust and obey, for there's no other way, to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey." Anyway...just wanted to share:
"Willing to Stand in God's Place or Go at His Pace
Are you waiting for something? I mean really waiting with deep longing in your soul for something beyond your control? You might be waiting to conceive a child, receive financial provision, see a loved one come to faith, get married, see a serious illness healed, or move in a ministry direction to which you feel called. Are you waiting for God to answer? If so, you are in a good (though hard) place.
God highly values the fruit produced in the soul that learns to wait patiently for him. So he takes pains to cultivate it in us. That's why God dealt with Abraham as he did and recorded Abraham's story for us--to encourage our anxious waiting hearts and show us what walking by faith look like.
In Genesis 12, Abram (as he was called then) is already seventy-five years old. And God promises to make him a great nation that would bless all the families of the earth and to give his offspring the land of the Canaanites. However, Abram has no offspring. His wife, Sarai, is barren.
Time goes by. No child. So Abram prudently plans to make his servant, Eliezer of Damascus, his heir. But God says, "This man shall not be your heir; your very own son shall be your heir" (Gen 15:4). Then he takes Abram out and shows him the night sky and tells him that his offspring will be so numerous that counting them would be like counting stars. But in the tent it's still just Abram and Sarai.
More time goes by. Sarai gets desperate. Despite what her husband thinks God has told him, she can't conceive. She wants a child. She's done waiting. So she devises a solution: her maidservant, Hagar, could be a surrogate child-bearer for her. This sounds plausible to the eighty-six year-old Abram. But Abram did not consult God on this idea. Not wise. The solution backfires big-time.
Thirteen more years go by before God finally tells the ninety-nine year-old Abram that eighty-nine year-old Sarai will bear a son. This is (almost) unbelievable news. Both respond with the equivalent of "No way!" But God says, "Yes way!" and changes their names to Abraham (father of a multitude) and Sarah (princess). A year later Isaac is born.
Twenty-five years of waiting and no earthly reason to hope for a child. Their only hope was a promise from God. And that's exactly how God wants his children to live: by faith in future grace--the assurance of things hoped for; the conviction of things not seen (Heb 11:1).
Learning to walk by faith and not by sight is hard. It was hard for Abraham and Sarah. It is hard for all of us. God designed it that way. It is his process of mercifully weaning us off of self-sufficient delusion and letting us taste the joy of what it means to hope in him alone. Learning to patiently trust a promise from God develops our capacity to really hope in eternal life. We learn not to trust our perceptions or emotions but God's promises. And over time the unseen reality of heaven becomes more real to us. There is nothing like the experience of tasting hope when all looked hopeless to teach the soul that the death we fear is not the end.
Because I'm impatient, which is to say I'm selfish and prone to believe that my will ought to be sovereign in the ordering and timing of events, I need encouragement to "hold fast the confession of my hope without wavering" (Heb 10:23). So I just finished listening twice to John Piper's message, "Battling the Unbelief of Impatience." One of the things he said that rings in my ears is,
The opposite of impatience is a deepening, sweetening willingness to stand in the place that God has appointed or to move at the pace that God has appointed...to stand in God's place or go at his pace."
Then the letter goes on with some other stuff not really related to the message. Anyway...just thought this was worth sharing. If you're interested, go to DesiringGod.org and download the sermon or request the cd.
"Willing to Stand in God's Place or Go at His Pace
Are you waiting for something? I mean really waiting with deep longing in your soul for something beyond your control? You might be waiting to conceive a child, receive financial provision, see a loved one come to faith, get married, see a serious illness healed, or move in a ministry direction to which you feel called. Are you waiting for God to answer? If so, you are in a good (though hard) place.
God highly values the fruit produced in the soul that learns to wait patiently for him. So he takes pains to cultivate it in us. That's why God dealt with Abraham as he did and recorded Abraham's story for us--to encourage our anxious waiting hearts and show us what walking by faith look like.
In Genesis 12, Abram (as he was called then) is already seventy-five years old. And God promises to make him a great nation that would bless all the families of the earth and to give his offspring the land of the Canaanites. However, Abram has no offspring. His wife, Sarai, is barren.
Time goes by. No child. So Abram prudently plans to make his servant, Eliezer of Damascus, his heir. But God says, "This man shall not be your heir; your very own son shall be your heir" (Gen 15:4). Then he takes Abram out and shows him the night sky and tells him that his offspring will be so numerous that counting them would be like counting stars. But in the tent it's still just Abram and Sarai.
More time goes by. Sarai gets desperate. Despite what her husband thinks God has told him, she can't conceive. She wants a child. She's done waiting. So she devises a solution: her maidservant, Hagar, could be a surrogate child-bearer for her. This sounds plausible to the eighty-six year-old Abram. But Abram did not consult God on this idea. Not wise. The solution backfires big-time.
Thirteen more years go by before God finally tells the ninety-nine year-old Abram that eighty-nine year-old Sarai will bear a son. This is (almost) unbelievable news. Both respond with the equivalent of "No way!" But God says, "Yes way!" and changes their names to Abraham (father of a multitude) and Sarah (princess). A year later Isaac is born.
Twenty-five years of waiting and no earthly reason to hope for a child. Their only hope was a promise from God. And that's exactly how God wants his children to live: by faith in future grace--the assurance of things hoped for; the conviction of things not seen (Heb 11:1).
Learning to walk by faith and not by sight is hard. It was hard for Abraham and Sarah. It is hard for all of us. God designed it that way. It is his process of mercifully weaning us off of self-sufficient delusion and letting us taste the joy of what it means to hope in him alone. Learning to patiently trust a promise from God develops our capacity to really hope in eternal life. We learn not to trust our perceptions or emotions but God's promises. And over time the unseen reality of heaven becomes more real to us. There is nothing like the experience of tasting hope when all looked hopeless to teach the soul that the death we fear is not the end.
Because I'm impatient, which is to say I'm selfish and prone to believe that my will ought to be sovereign in the ordering and timing of events, I need encouragement to "hold fast the confession of my hope without wavering" (Heb 10:23). So I just finished listening twice to John Piper's message, "Battling the Unbelief of Impatience." One of the things he said that rings in my ears is,
The opposite of impatience is a deepening, sweetening willingness to stand in the place that God has appointed or to move at the pace that God has appointed...to stand in God's place or go at his pace."
Then the letter goes on with some other stuff not really related to the message. Anyway...just thought this was worth sharing. If you're interested, go to DesiringGod.org and download the sermon or request the cd.
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Led by His own hand...
Well...much has happened over the last few weeks. I had been asking God to tell me if He wanted me to start to get involved at Bellevue or not, and I received an affirmative answer. I asked again, and the words of that old hymn came to me, "What more can He say, than to you He has said..." I thought back to Exodus to a verse that I have prayed many times, "Unless You lead us up from here, We will not move." Only a few verses before that, God told Moses, " I am going with you." How many times have I waited on God, received His direction, and then asked Him if He was sure? Too many...
Anyway...They were about to start new studies in each of the Sunday School/Bible Fellowship classes at Bellevue, and I knew that this was the time to start. So...I showed up at 8:00 am and went to the Pastor's class, because they had said the previous Sunday, that if you don't know where to go, go to the Pastor's class. As I was walking in the building, I was telling God that I really can't back out, I guess. There is no church service at 8am, so I really have to go to this class, and if He wants me in a SS class, He'll take me to one, and if He wanted take me, I'd stay the whole morning. So I show up. They immediately spotted me as a visitor (the Pastor's class was an older married's class that got renamed) and this sweet lady came up to me and asked me about myself and was I looking for a specific class. I told her that I had been led to be more involved, and didn't know where to go. She said she'd take me to her daughter's class that started at 9:30 if I wanted to go, so I said ok. At 9, when we got out of class, she took me upstairs and told me that her daughter may not be there this early, but we'd go look anyway. And who should greet us as we rounded the corner into the career/singles dept? Her daughter. They talked for a minute or two, and then I visited with her daughter for a few minutes, and she let me help her kinda greet and pray over the meeting time, and then we sat down for the announcements and worship. When we got up to go to class, there was a voice from behind me that said, "Are you Kathryn?" I turned around, and there was a girl named Bethany Kyzar. As it turns out, I don't remember meeting her before, but I worked with her brother in high school, and she is a friend of one of my friends (Candice Hair). She said that Candice had told her she might see me around. She is in the same class that I was about to go to, so off we went.
Since that time, I have had several confirmations that this has been God's will. I have been amazed in seeing how, even in a church the size of Bellevue, He has led me by His own hand to be exactly where I should be at precisely the right moment. This decision to move was not an easy one. When I left the church after telling Bro. Gary that I felt God was calling me to a different church, I knew there would be a challenge coming up. The next day, Mom told me that they wanted her to start chemo, because the tumors seemed to be spreading. Again, I began to doubt God's leading in taking me further away from her house. She and I had discussed that if I began to get involved, I would probably not be home as often as I was before. I asked God if He knew what He was doing. The answer: "You of little faith...to not follow My direction is a decision based on fear and not trust." To move home or to stay at home is to say that God could not possibly take better care of my Mom than I can. And who am I kidding about that? She fell several months ago. I didn't learn about it until days later. At the very moment she fell, she could have died, because of where the break occured. God chose not to take her home at that moment, because He has a purpose in all that has followed and is following. He is over all things, and I am trusting Him completely. When I hear news like, "they are putting me on chemo until whenever," I can't say that I listen and absorb it with complete joy and peace. It still stings. But I know that the sovereign Lord of the stars, the oceans, and the world events, is the same Lord Who has led me by His own hand and placed me where He wants me. He is intimately acquainted and interested in my life, as He is the lives and hearts of all His children. And even beyond that, He loves those people who are not His children. He wants to have the same relationship He has with me, with them as well. It just blows my mind. It just completely blows my mind.
Lord, thank You for leading me and loving me, even as I falter and stumble. You alone are the Rock that I can cling to and the Refuge to which I run as these storms, these rains that fall on the just and the unjust, come down. You are the only strength by which I can stand up at all. "Not by (my) strength and not by (my) might, but by (Your) Spirit..." Neh 4:6 Only by Your Spirit, Lord.
Anyway...They were about to start new studies in each of the Sunday School/Bible Fellowship classes at Bellevue, and I knew that this was the time to start. So...I showed up at 8:00 am and went to the Pastor's class, because they had said the previous Sunday, that if you don't know where to go, go to the Pastor's class. As I was walking in the building, I was telling God that I really can't back out, I guess. There is no church service at 8am, so I really have to go to this class, and if He wants me in a SS class, He'll take me to one, and if He wanted take me, I'd stay the whole morning. So I show up. They immediately spotted me as a visitor (the Pastor's class was an older married's class that got renamed) and this sweet lady came up to me and asked me about myself and was I looking for a specific class. I told her that I had been led to be more involved, and didn't know where to go. She said she'd take me to her daughter's class that started at 9:30 if I wanted to go, so I said ok. At 9, when we got out of class, she took me upstairs and told me that her daughter may not be there this early, but we'd go look anyway. And who should greet us as we rounded the corner into the career/singles dept? Her daughter. They talked for a minute or two, and then I visited with her daughter for a few minutes, and she let me help her kinda greet and pray over the meeting time, and then we sat down for the announcements and worship. When we got up to go to class, there was a voice from behind me that said, "Are you Kathryn?" I turned around, and there was a girl named Bethany Kyzar. As it turns out, I don't remember meeting her before, but I worked with her brother in high school, and she is a friend of one of my friends (Candice Hair). She said that Candice had told her she might see me around. She is in the same class that I was about to go to, so off we went.
Since that time, I have had several confirmations that this has been God's will. I have been amazed in seeing how, even in a church the size of Bellevue, He has led me by His own hand to be exactly where I should be at precisely the right moment. This decision to move was not an easy one. When I left the church after telling Bro. Gary that I felt God was calling me to a different church, I knew there would be a challenge coming up. The next day, Mom told me that they wanted her to start chemo, because the tumors seemed to be spreading. Again, I began to doubt God's leading in taking me further away from her house. She and I had discussed that if I began to get involved, I would probably not be home as often as I was before. I asked God if He knew what He was doing. The answer: "You of little faith...to not follow My direction is a decision based on fear and not trust." To move home or to stay at home is to say that God could not possibly take better care of my Mom than I can. And who am I kidding about that? She fell several months ago. I didn't learn about it until days later. At the very moment she fell, she could have died, because of where the break occured. God chose not to take her home at that moment, because He has a purpose in all that has followed and is following. He is over all things, and I am trusting Him completely. When I hear news like, "they are putting me on chemo until whenever," I can't say that I listen and absorb it with complete joy and peace. It still stings. But I know that the sovereign Lord of the stars, the oceans, and the world events, is the same Lord Who has led me by His own hand and placed me where He wants me. He is intimately acquainted and interested in my life, as He is the lives and hearts of all His children. And even beyond that, He loves those people who are not His children. He wants to have the same relationship He has with me, with them as well. It just blows my mind. It just completely blows my mind.
Lord, thank You for leading me and loving me, even as I falter and stumble. You alone are the Rock that I can cling to and the Refuge to which I run as these storms, these rains that fall on the just and the unjust, come down. You are the only strength by which I can stand up at all. "Not by (my) strength and not by (my) might, but by (Your) Spirit..." Neh 4:6 Only by Your Spirit, Lord.
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