Led by His own hand...

Well...much has happened over the last few weeks. I had been asking God to tell me if He wanted me to start to get involved at Bellevue or not, and I received an affirmative answer. I asked again, and the words of that old hymn came to me, "What more can He say, than to you He has said..." I thought back to Exodus to a verse that I have prayed many times, "Unless You lead us up from here, We will not move." Only a few verses before that, God told Moses, " I am going with you." How many times have I waited on God, received His direction, and then asked Him if He was sure? Too many...

Anyway...They were about to start new studies in each of the Sunday School/Bible Fellowship classes at Bellevue, and I knew that this was the time to start. So...I showed up at 8:00 am and went to the Pastor's class, because they had said the previous Sunday, that if you don't know where to go, go to the Pastor's class. As I was walking in the building, I was telling God that I really can't back out, I guess. There is no church service at 8am, so I really have to go to this class, and if He wants me in a SS class, He'll take me to one, and if He wanted take me, I'd stay the whole morning. So I show up. They immediately spotted me as a visitor (the Pastor's class was an older married's class that got renamed) and this sweet lady came up to me and asked me about myself and was I looking for a specific class. I told her that I had been led to be more involved, and didn't know where to go. She said she'd take me to her daughter's class that started at 9:30 if I wanted to go, so I said ok. At 9, when we got out of class, she took me upstairs and told me that her daughter may not be there this early, but we'd go look anyway. And who should greet us as we rounded the corner into the career/singles dept? Her daughter. They talked for a minute or two, and then I visited with her daughter for a few minutes, and she let me help her kinda greet and pray over the meeting time, and then we sat down for the announcements and worship. When we got up to go to class, there was a voice from behind me that said, "Are you Kathryn?" I turned around, and there was a girl named Bethany Kyzar. As it turns out, I don't remember meeting her before, but I worked with her brother in high school, and she is a friend of one of my friends (Candice Hair). She said that Candice had told her she might see me around. She is in the same class that I was about to go to, so off we went.

Since that time, I have had several confirmations that this has been God's will. I have been amazed in seeing how, even in a church the size of Bellevue, He has led me by His own hand to be exactly where I should be at precisely the right moment. This decision to move was not an easy one. When I left the church after telling Bro. Gary that I felt God was calling me to a different church, I knew there would be a challenge coming up. The next day, Mom told me that they wanted her to start chemo, because the tumors seemed to be spreading. Again, I began to doubt God's leading in taking me further away from her house. She and I had discussed that if I began to get involved, I would probably not be home as often as I was before. I asked God if He knew what He was doing. The answer: "You of little faith...to not follow My direction is a decision based on fear and not trust." To move home or to stay at home is to say that God could not possibly take better care of my Mom than I can. And who am I kidding about that? She fell several months ago. I didn't learn about it until days later. At the very moment she fell, she could have died, because of where the break occured. God chose not to take her home at that moment, because He has a purpose in all that has followed and is following. He is over all things, and I am trusting Him completely. When I hear news like, "they are putting me on chemo until whenever," I can't say that I listen and absorb it with complete joy and peace. It still stings. But I know that the sovereign Lord of the stars, the oceans, and the world events, is the same Lord Who has led me by His own hand and placed me where He wants me. He is intimately acquainted and interested in my life, as He is the lives and hearts of all His children. And even beyond that, He loves those people who are not His children. He wants to have the same relationship He has with me, with them as well. It just blows my mind. It just completely blows my mind.

Lord, thank You for leading me and loving me, even as I falter and stumble. You alone are the Rock that I can cling to and the Refuge to which I run as these storms, these rains that fall on the just and the unjust, come down. You are the only strength by which I can stand up at all. "Not by (my) strength and not by (my) might, but by (Your) Spirit..." Neh 4:6 Only by Your Spirit, Lord.