Well...many things have transpired since I last wrote. Let me start by saying, as some of you may already know, Mom's breast cancer is back and has spread. She has been taking a hormone that, by the grace and direction of God, has been working in shrinking the tumors. We went for a PET and a CT scan last Friday, and she got the good news of the size decrease on Tuesday. She also received a panicked plea from her oncologist to immediately put on her neck brace (from her surgery in '03) and see a neurosurgeon the next day. So off we went...
At the neurosurgeon's office, the neurologist came in, told us that it appears on the CT that C2 (the second vetebrae in the spine) had collapsed and sent a large fragment of bone into the spinal canal where the spinal cord likes to stay. (Mom fell in April in the kitchen while climbing over a dog-gate.) She said that Mom would more than likely need surgery to correct this. She then took Mom away to take some x-rays, while I broke down in the room. Sometimes, one just cries almost as if it were a reflex. When you feel that old pain and fear, you cry. Then, after the x-rays were consulted over, the surgeon came in to talk to us. He stated that if any other vertebrae had broken, she would have immediately been a quadraplegic. As it just so happens, (which I know how it just so happened) the area around the spinal cord in that one spot, is two to three times the space needed by the spinal cord, so that as it stands now, Mom is still up and walking and feeling almost two months after shattering C2. He also told us that the fracture is healing and is stable at this point in time, but she is to wear her brace for the next three to six months. As he was sharing this information, I again began to cry, but this time not because of fear. This time, tears of absolute gratitude and awe at what God has done were shed.
Mom and I were in shock the rest of the day, and each time I share the story, I am still (almost) speechless. I mean...Can anyone doubt God's hand over my Mom? Can anyone ignore the gravity of what has happened? People have said, "How lucky!" and I want to scream, "It's not luck!!!!" It is because the God who orders the planets and the seasons, the God who created the heavens and the earth, the God Most High reached out his hand and had mercy over my Mom's life. Out of His love for her, He spared her from this...this...I can even find the right word for what it would have been. I can't praise Him enough for this love and mercy! To God be the glory!!
Mom says that people have said to her, "Why didn't God keep you from falling?" Her reply: "God does not always protect us from our own stupidity." She has also said that, as if it wasn't clear enough that she was walking around on this planet by the grace of God, she is now a billboard. (She's a little self-conscious of the collar, as we would all be.) And even though when we look at each other now, knowing how uncomfortable the collar is, and what a hassle it is to catch a ride to and from work and to every other place you want to go, we also know what a blessing it is to be able to wear this uncomfortable collar that interferes with every aspect of your day, because it means you can continue to walk, and feel the fabric of your socks, and type, and feed yourself each day. We have truly been blessed. I do not pretend to even begin to understand the goodness of God. I really don't. We have not deserved this kindness. I know I have been so very weak with every little challenge. I have failed Him in SO many ways. And yet, He chooses to bless us? I don't understand, but I am humbly grateful. Praise and glory to God!! Thank You, Lord, for Your mercy!
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1 comment:
glad you finally updated your blog. wish i had known about all that stuff with your mom. we need to talk and catch up sometime!!
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