Memories from Mongolia...

In preparation of moving back home, I have been doing alot of cleaning out. I've been shredding and throwing away stored up papers (some from '00!), sorting various items into keep, trash, and yard sale, and experiencing some memories in the process. I found a magazine that I didn't know I had about Campus Crusade's efforts in Mongolia. (Maybe someone gave it to me before I went?) And, blessed gift, I found all my notes, photo negatives, and keepsakes from the trip!
My favorite of these notes is the translation of a song I learned. I would type the Mongolian and then the English, but my Mongolian version is spelled out in "Kathryn's Phonetics," so it really wouldn't do it justice. But I love how it translates into English:

I sing/worship You only;

I will give/adore only for You;

Very nice sound from my heart;

God of the world, please take my praise.

I will look/search only for You;

I will give gifts only for You;

Holy, Holiest, the best/first from my heart (I give You);

Please take my gift, life's God.

O Holy, Holiest Lord...I want to give you my best and my first from the whole of my heart. Lord, I agree with Paul in that it is my desire to do right, but how to do it seems to escape me, for what I would, that I do not, and what I would not, that I do. Thank You, Father, that it is not up to me to be holy enough. Thank You for the precious gift of Your Son, Jesus.
Lord my gift to You is my heart and my life. You are my life's God. Please take my gift and my praise.

Blessed Again....

Well...who would have thought that God would be in charge of a leaking toilet, but let me be the first to say that God is sovereign over EVERYTHING.
I am still amazed at what happened tonight. I was supposed to be elsewhere, doing other things. But I decided to clean up and move some furniture around at Mom's house so that she could move around with greater ease, and maybe avoid having to climb the stairs so often. I was cleaning from about 3:30pm until 7pm when my friend Dorothy and I decided to break for some Sonic and a drive through the country. When we got back, (thirty minutes later), I heard water running. I went to the downstairs bathroom to check the faucet and to make sure the toilet wasn't running. There, I found water all but pouring from the ceiling and vent. I ran upstairs, splashed through the flooded floor, and saw water blasting from the plastic bolt that hooks the water hose to the toilet. I tried to turn the water off but was a little too panicky. Fortunately, a steadier hand reached in and saved the day. So after a little freak-out session, (on my part, not Dorothy's), we called her dad, who awesomely ran right over, went back home to retrieve the needed part, and then fixed everything.
So...as I was putting the 5 soaking-wet towels into the washing machine I thought, "how does that even begin to happen??? how does a plastic bolt crack suddenly and without even being used today??? what would have happened if I hadn't been here????" Then it dawned on me...everything happened this way so that I would be here and would have help to get it fixed.
And now I am reminded of God's sovereignty and His blessings towards me. And I really haven't deserved to even be reminded. I have had a tough week full of mini-freak-out sessions which stem from not trusting God to really be in control of everything. I've heard 4 sermons on waiting on God in the past few weeks, and just recently, I got the message. I have been pleading for God to show me what to do, and now I'm sure that it is to continue to wait.
O Lord, when I find this waiting difficult, and begin to get impatient, and begin to question You all over again, remind me of tonight. Remind me of Your timing. Remind me that Your ways are not my ways, and Your thoughts are not my thoughts: Yours are higher. You know the plans that You have for me, and You will accomplish that which concerns me. Keep reminding me that if You care enough to make sure I'm at home so that water would not destroy this house, then You certainly care about more important things. I am sorry, Lord, for my doubt and foolishness. Thank You for blessing me anyway.

In Pursuit of Fireflies...

Mom and I drove the loop the other night. (For those who don't know, "the loop" is a road that goes back into some of the farms in Marion, and then circles around to get back into town.) It's been a habit of ours to go by Sonic and then drive the loop. We haven't done that in almost a year, it seems, but the weather was great and off we went. A year or two ago, we discovered that there are a few spots where you can stop the car, turn off the lights, and watch thousands of fireflies against a dark backdrop of trees. May is really the perfect month, because of the temperature. June is too late. Evidently, April is too early. It is an awesome sight to see all those little lights in the middle of the pitch black.
Speaking of darkness...I've been challenged lately with many anxious thoughts. I wish I could say that my first response was true trust, but it hasn't been. But I was reminded of that verse a few days ago, "When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Thy consolations delight my soul." (Ps 94:19) Then I thought about the Israelites, and how it was important for them to teach their children and their children's children, and to rehearse on a monthly, if not weekly, basis, as well as with the yearly celebration of feasts, all that God had done for them. Why was this important? Because when things get dark, it is all too easy for us to forget what God has done. I mean, the Israelites walked through the Jordan river ON DRY GROUND, and later they complained about being led out of Egypt in order to die in the desert. I mean... HELLO !!!!!
I heard Chuck Swindoll, a few weeks ago, talking about sitting down with the family after dinner one night and telling the story (chronologically) about how God led them from the beginning of their lives and up until the present time. He said that after the recount of each child's birth, they stopped, prayed, and thanked God for His blessings and leading. So I listed my anxious thoughts, and then I listed His consolations. As I began to list God's consolations and all the ways in which He has led me, I was overwhelmed again, but this time with gratitude and lowliness. I mean, who am I that God would bless me? And why do I act like I think that God won't continue to care for me and my family?
Oh God, let me never forget all Your lovingkindness towards me. You have blessed me FAR above what I could ever deserve and beyond what I could hope for. Thank You that Your consolations are like those fireflies in the middle of the dark. Little glimmers of light and hope in the midst of the pitch black that encourage me to continue to put my trust and hope in You for everything. EVERY thing.

See Spot Change...

It is at these moments that I truly love being a veterinarian. This cute little puppy was one of my most recent patients. Actually, the dad of the pup’s owner brought this little one in, as well as it’s brand-new twin. He told the receptionists that his wife had washed the new one over and over trying to fade it, but that his wife and son, Spot’s owner, would be by a little later to pick up the pooch from being seen by the vet.
When they told me that Spot’s owner, a little boy named Connor had arrived, I had to collect myself a little. I LOVE doing this sort of thing! I went out into the waiting room and called out, “Spot?” Connor’s mom told him to go get his puppy. I told him that I hoped it was ok that we had bathed him, because he had gotten a little dirty when we were fixing him. He looked at Spot, looked at his mom, looked at me, and then hugged his pet. He asked me, “You stitched his heart?” I nodded. His little fingers gently touched the eyes, nose, ears, and heart. His mom asked him how Spot smelled. A little sniff of the nose and head… “Clean.” Some other words were exchanged, and I told Connor’s mom and grandmother “thank you.” We were all fighting back tears by the end, and the whole thing only took 20-30 seconds. You see, Connor is probably about 8 or 9 years old, but he is a special-needs child.
Seeing Spot’s transformation reminded me of a few verses in Scripture:

“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” Ps 51:10

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; and see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way.” Ps 139:23-24

“For Thou dost not delight in sacrifice, otherwise I would give it; Thou art not pleased with burnt offering. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, Thou wilt not despise.” Ps 51:16-17

“Therefore if any man is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.” 2 Cor 5:17

As you can see from the picture, Spot was a well-loved “pet,” whose heart was literally falling apart. But Spot did not return his owner broken. He was entrusted to the doctor, and was returned as good as new. It is the same with our Physician.

A change of plans...

Well...this was the first year having Christmas with my brother and his wife as part of the family. I mean, we've always had Will as a part of the family, (duh), but this year it was a different Will. I was shocked to meet this new person he has become. He's only been married a couple of months, but as I sat with he and his wife at the table after brunch, I thought to myself..."Wow! He's an adult." It brings a smile to my face even now to think about it. Not that I'm SUCH an adult, and he was always SUCH a child, but I think I was finally able to see HIM. My brother has always surprised me upon occasion with some tidbit of wisdom. I don't know why I don't expect wisdom to come from my little brother...well...I guess I know why...when you are the big sister, you always know more than your brother, more about any thing regarding any subject. That's just the way it is. But not really so much anymore.
I asked Will before the wedding how he and Lisa got together. You see, they 'dated' for 5 years before he proposed. And since I knew my brother was not the kind of guy to ask girls out (ie. he is not one of those guys that asks many girls out just to go on dates), I wanted to know how their relationship even started. He said that they had been dating about 2 months when he found out about it. (They did alot of group activities and hung out together quite a bit.) He said that when he found out she was calling him her 'boyfriend', he panicked. This was not what he had planned. He was supposed to be single. He had never been attached to anyone, nor had he planned to. So he called it off. (I asked how, to which he replied, "I didn't call her for a week.") Then I asked if she called him, or if he took himself back to her. He admitted that he went back of his own accord. He said that Mom asked him, "Well, if she's not your 'girlfriend', what is she?" He thought a minute, and answered, "She's my Lisa. Like, my car, my room, my keys, my Lisa." She is the other part of him, and it surprised him to find her.
Anyway...I just thought that was really sweet. It's kinda like the story about my dad and the song "Brown-eyed Girl." Mom says that every time that song came on, he would start singing, and then turn to her in the middle and exclaim, "You're eyes aren't brown! I thought I liked brown-eyed girls." To his surprise, he didn't. He liked my Mom.

Just wanted to share.

1 Cor 9:24-27

"Do you not know that all those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize?

Run in such a way that you may win.

And everyone who competes in the games exercises self-control in all things. They then do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. Therefore, I run in such a way as not without aim; I box in such a way as not beating the air;

but I buffet my body and make it my slave, lest possibly, after I have preached to others, I myself should be disqualified."

Battling the Unbelief of Impatience

Got this in a letter from Desiring God ministries. Piper has been doing a series on battling unbelief. This particular form of unbelief is one that I've just recently been dealing with in a new way. "Trust and obey, for there's no other way, to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey." Anyway...just wanted to share:

"Willing to Stand in God's Place or Go at His Pace

Are you waiting for something? I mean really waiting with deep longing in your soul for something beyond your control? You might be waiting to conceive a child, receive financial provision, see a loved one come to faith, get married, see a serious illness healed, or move in a ministry direction to which you feel called. Are you waiting for God to answer? If so, you are in a good (though hard) place.

God highly values the fruit produced in the soul that learns to wait patiently for him. So he takes pains to cultivate it in us. That's why God dealt with Abraham as he did and recorded Abraham's story for us--to encourage our anxious waiting hearts and show us what walking by faith look like.

In Genesis 12, Abram (as he was called then) is already seventy-five years old. And God promises to make him a great nation that would bless all the families of the earth and to give his offspring the land of the Canaanites. However, Abram has no offspring. His wife, Sarai, is barren.

Time goes by. No child. So Abram prudently plans to make his servant, Eliezer of Damascus, his heir. But God says, "This man shall not be your heir; your very own son shall be your heir" (Gen 15:4). Then he takes Abram out and shows him the night sky and tells him that his offspring will be so numerous that counting them would be like counting stars. But in the tent it's still just Abram and Sarai.

More time goes by. Sarai gets desperate. Despite what her husband thinks God has told him, she can't conceive. She wants a child. She's done waiting. So she devises a solution: her maidservant, Hagar, could be a surrogate child-bearer for her. This sounds plausible to the eighty-six year-old Abram. But Abram did not consult God on this idea. Not wise. The solution backfires big-time.

Thirteen more years go by before God finally tells the ninety-nine year-old Abram that eighty-nine year-old Sarai will bear a son. This is (almost) unbelievable news. Both respond with the equivalent of "No way!" But God says, "Yes way!" and changes their names to Abraham (father of a multitude) and Sarah (princess). A year later Isaac is born.

Twenty-five years of waiting and no earthly reason to hope for a child. Their only hope was a promise from God. And that's exactly how God wants his children to live: by faith in future grace--the assurance of things hoped for; the conviction of things not seen (Heb 11:1).

Learning to walk by faith and not by sight is hard. It was hard for Abraham and Sarah. It is hard for all of us. God designed it that way. It is his process of mercifully weaning us off of self-sufficient delusion and letting us taste the joy of what it means to hope in him alone. Learning to patiently trust a promise from God develops our capacity to really hope in eternal life. We learn not to trust our perceptions or emotions but God's promises. And over time the unseen reality of heaven becomes more real to us. There is nothing like the experience of tasting hope when all looked hopeless to teach the soul that the death we fear is not the end.

Because I'm impatient, which is to say I'm selfish and prone to believe that my will ought to be sovereign in the ordering and timing of events, I need encouragement to "hold fast the confession of my hope without wavering" (Heb 10:23). So I just finished listening twice to John Piper's message, "Battling the Unbelief of Impatience." One of the things he said that rings in my ears is,
The opposite of impatience is a deepening, sweetening willingness to stand in the place that God has appointed or to move at the pace that God has appointed...to stand in God's place or go at his pace."

Then the letter goes on with some other stuff not really related to the message. Anyway...just thought this was worth sharing. If you're interested, go to DesiringGod.org and download the sermon or request the cd.